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This Time Last Year

May 2009

This time last year Dean had just built the girls their very own teepee. The grass was lush & the garden was well on its way to producing veggies. This year we have had such a long winter. Dean has started the veggies but they are no where near where they were last year. While others are already starting to enjoy the bounty of their gardens, we are at the sprout stage. I love listening to him talk about what each little plant is going to be. They all kind of look like weeds in pots to me. This weekend he moved all the fruit trees from the old house to the new one. They barely peek over the tall weeds that he has been pulling all day today. There are so many projects to do here but I am falling in love very quickly with the new house.

I started having contractions yesterday evening & by late last night I thought for sure my labor had started. My midwifes assistant came and checked me & I was only at a one. Blasted contractions all but stopped. I have had quite a few contractions throughout the day but nothing serious has come of it. My lower back is in quite a bit of pain. I'm guessing this is the getting ready part. Crazy to think that this time last year I wouldn't have even dreamed of having another baby. I was enjoying sleeping through the night too much ;) I couldn't be happier though. We are all pretty excited to meet the little guy.

I have thought a lot lately on how quickly things can change. Like in a matter of moments. How choices can affect not just ourselves but others as well. I really am trying to treasure my family more. Treasure all the special time with my sweetheart, love even the trying times with my children, & learn from my mistakes. I make so many! Hopefully I'm moving ahead and not stepping back. I'd like to think that maybe this time next year I can look back on these memories we are making now with a smile. That I may have the chance to see the growth and evolution of our family. I am sure that there will be a couple winces mixed in with all the happiness, but I'm guessing the good will outweigh the bad.

Only two weeks to go! I'll keep you posted on how things are progressing.

Hoping you all have a lovely & safe holiday weekend!

A Little Less Stressed

Image found ::here::

Image found ::here::

Image found ::here::

Image found ::here::

I've started compiling some ideas to use in the girls rooms. Right now Sloan's room is bright yellow. I love the color yellow. When it's done right it can make for a beautiful room. This yellow, not so much. The same could be said for the little ones room. It is painted in two different pinks one the color of pepto bismal. It also has some pretty lame Disney stamps and stickers placed all over the walls. I'm all for the darling Disney princess rooms. Really I am. I've seen where they look very charming. The previous owners just missed the mark in this room.

So when it comes to paint I'm thinking pale colors for the walls and cream colored wainscoting along the bottom part of the walls in both rooms. I really want the girls rooms to grow with them. I think this is a look that is pretty timeless. I love the butterfly pendant idea for Sloan's room. I think it's something I could maybe make for her. We have to work with the furniture we have for the time being. I'm thinking painting what we have will pull everything together and work for now. I will be keeping my eyes open for a cute armoire for the little ones and a really unique bookshelf for Sloan. I also have plans for the giant house bookshelf in the little ones room. I'm thinking paint for the body & wooden shaker shingles for the roof. How cute would that look? Oh and I can't wait to hang up all the fun art I have for their rooms. I actually have space to do this now.

I feel so badly for being such a party pooper over the past week. I've been able to get a ton of sleep over the past two days & my girls are almost completely back on their old schedules. This has made a huge difference for all of us. Dean put the girls beds together tonight. They were delighted. Probably not as much as I was. Now I can keep organizing without the beds being all over the room. Then Dean fixed my car that I haven't been able to drive since Friday. We were so blessed that the problem wasn't worse than it was. It was the shift cable that had worn through. Dean got my car stuck at the lake about a year ago. Ever since then the cable had been wearing down until Friday it finally gave out. Dean used to work on cars and because of this it has saved us a ton of money over the years. This was a $200 fix, meaning the part cost $200. I am almost positive if we had taken it to a dealership to have it fixed it would have been double that if not more. So now I have wheels again! Dean is the best. I still haven't been able to find my camera cable. Please bare with me on the lack of updated photos. Looking forward to getting a ton of boxes emptied tomorrow. Can't wait to share the new place with you very soon. Hope you all have the best Wednesday ever!

What I'm Craving

both images found ::here::

I have been thinking a lot about how I want our home to look. We have a ton of painting to do, scraping of ceilings, new lighting, and other projects. I am ready for a fresh start. A crisp clean pallet to work from. As much as I love color I feel the need for clean nice white walls in all the main living spaces. I like the idea of adding color with art & furniture. In the bedrooms I'd like to keep it light too. I'm ready for this change. What are your thoughts? Is white too stark or a nice clean pallet to work with?

3 weeks

June 2009

This was taken right after Zoe fell in the little lake we went fishing at. We had warned her several times to not dangle her legs over the water but she just couldn't resist. She ended up in the water. It would have been much worse if Dean hadn't immediately pulled her out.

I feel a little like the above photo. Like I could just sit down and cry while I pound my fists and kick my legs. Just a little temper tantrum. Please don't think I am ungrateful for all the blessings we have in our life right now. I guess I'm a bit overwhelmed & haven't had enough sleep over the past week. I miss our routines. I feel so out of sorts in this new house. I still have a ton to unpack & put away. When my house is not in order I feel out of order too. I know everything will be back to normal very soon. So I'm trying to keep it all in perspective.

It's been so cold here. I'm not talking a little breeze, nope, like in the low 30's. Oh and did I mention that it has snowed on and off all weekend? Hailed too. I keep waiting for the warm weather to show up & I think it's being pretty stubborn. The upside to all of this nice cold weather is I haven't been miserable due to hot weather during this pregnancy.

I'm HUGE right now! Only 3 weeks to go. I'm finding it harder to do the things I would like to do. Bending over to clean a cabinet is pure torture at the moment. I keep plugging away in the hope that all this movement will help move things along. The baby is kicking like crazy these days & I'm trying to savor these last few weeks of this pregnancy. I think it has been easier for me to enjoy this one knowing it's my last. I am so excited to meet this little guy. It's always fun to see whom they favor. Plus little baby boys always look like old men to me. It will be fun to finally meet him.

I'm dying to share some photos with you. As soon as I find my camera cord I will post them. I think I know where it is but I'm not quite sure. This could take a while folks. I hope not too long. Sorry to be such a grouch in this post. I'm sure some will blame it on hormones. I do think I'd feel this way even if I wasn't pregnant. Really in truly life is amazing. I'm sure I'll feel back to my peppy positive self once we are all back in the swing of things. Hugs to you all. Hope you have had a great weekend!

Moving Time

Aris October 2008

We finally have almost everything moved over from the house. I stopped by to pick up a few things from the old house yesterday and almost cried. So silly. It made my heart ache just a little to see how empty it was. I will confess all the new found space of our new house is lovely. The kitchen is huge, the living room, huge, the bedrooms, huge, the garage, well you get the picture. I love our new yard also. The girls love running through the weeds in the back yard. They look like little gazelles. They have even made little forts in the weeds. Cracks me up. Can you tell we have a lot of yard work to do? The to do list grows every day. First on the list pulling all the weeds in the yard. They are full of goats heads. After that we will work on scraping the ceilings and repainting the rooms. Mustard yellow, murky red, & Pepto Bismol pink are not my idea of colors that I would enjoy living with. Then will come the lighting & so on & so forth. It's a work in progress. I'm excited for the challenge & looking forward to making it our home.

::Awesome things that are happening right now::

I've already met 5 of our neighbors

We live on a cul-de-sac

The back porch is huge

Zoe just taught herself to ride her bike all by herself (on said back porch)

Sloan now has her own room

Dean doesn't have to work this weekend

I'm setting up my art space this weekend (in the house for now)

Life is wonderful

I will admit that I'm super grumpy today. My legs hurt & I'm not sleeping very well these days. The girls haven't gotten to bed on time in over two weeks. It has made for some very grouchy children as well. I'm really hoping that by this time next week we can be back on our regular schedules. Can't wait to share some pictures of the new house as soon as I find my camera cord for the computer :)

Hope you all have a great weekend!

How Strange the Feeling

August 2008

Our house is almost empty. When we talk our voices carry with a strange echo.

It felt strange to be at the new house. Dean was moving the heavy dressers into the girls rooms & I was trying to figure out where everything would go. Beds, toys, & clothes. There is a place for everything now. The girls rolled on the floor giggling while I made a mental checklist of things to get at the store tomorrow. It all felt surreal. I kept thinking how strange it felt to be there. How odd it was to see our things in this, this, place. It doesn't feel like home yet. There aren't any memories to make it feel like home. Aris told me yesterday that she didn't want to go & live at the new yucky house. She said she wanted to stay here in our home. At bedtime tonight Zoe cried & cried because she was so worried about not liking any of the kids when we go to our new church ward. I tried not to giggle. If you knew my Zoe you would have laughed out loud. She's never met a person she didn't end up calling her best friend. I listened sympathetically and snuggled them in. Sloan on the other hand is super excited about the move. For her it means she finally has her own room, new school & more friends to play with in the neighborhood. I understand my littlest ones apprehension. This is the only home they have ever known. I'm feeling a twinge of sadness in my heart over the move also. This is the home Dean & I came home to when we got married. It's where we brought home our Zoe & Aris. It's where Sloan played the piano for the first time. Where so many other wonderful memories have been made. Some so sweet & special I tear up just thinking about them.

Right now I take comfort in the fact that I know the Lord wanted us to have this house. It feels like the right place to be in our lives. I also know that new memories will be made that will make this house feel like a home. It's a testament to me that a house is just a house. Brick & wood & plaster full of empty rooms. It's the human spirit that can make it a home. Family, friendship & love. I'm so grateful we will have a chance to do just that.

Best News Ever!

We're Moving!

Today our agent's assistant dropped off the key to our new home. This is the most exciting news. These last few weeks have been a little stressful to say the least. Although I didn't talk too much about the process of getting our new home, word spreads. I was just hitting the stage where people were asking the same question we were, "When are you getting your home?"

If you could get past the dark circles under my eyes, the piles of laundry & all the dust bunnies having a party under my furniture (see post below) you would see how truly excited I really am. Just a little too large to jump up and down at the moment.

I think this is a real blessing in disguise. These next two weeks will be filled with packing and moving. It will help to keep my mind off of my ever growing belly, indigestion, & the impending "due date". Let's just say that our prayers have been answered. We will finally have some room to raise our growing family. Can't wait to share the new place with you very soon.

P.S. Hope you enjoy the peppy new song I added to the play list. Thanks Zana for the song. I almost skipped around the house when I listened to it for the first time. Almost ;)

Finally Home

Summer of 2008

I'm behind on everything right now. The laundry sits in sloppy piles on not one but both living room chairs. The dishes are piled in both sides of the sink. Clean dishes waiting patiently in the dishwasher, hoping to be put away very soon. There is a giant pile of toys on the girls floor. Blankets everywhere. The dust bunnies are having a party under the furniture. The bags under my eyes are big enough to carry enough luggage for a two week trip. Yes I'm that tired. But we are home! No matter how messy the house is, we are home.

I took Sloan into her Pediatricians office on Monday because her ears and throat were bothering her. She was also experiencing severe abdominal pain. The Dr. sent her to the ER for some further tests. They really weren't sure what was going on. Suspected a UTI but wanted to make sure it wasn't an appendicitis. One cat scan & ultrasound later with numerous blood tests taken and antibiotics given she was released this morning. The specialist feels it might be gallbladder related but because she wasn't in as much pain today they waited on running any further tests. Because her bowels were inflamed they think it could be gastritis. I'm super happy to be home but a little frustrated too. Frustrated because she is still feeling crummy. Sloan wanted to go home so badly that she said she felt fine. I told her a few minutes ago that she will just have to deal with her tummy pain for the next two weeks until she visits the specialist. Can you sense my agitation with this whole situation? I feel like the last 4 days were a total waste of every ones time & now we are back at square one. No answers of why she has been having tummy pain on & off for years now. No real answers to what was really going on. I am grateful for the fact that so many people were praying for her. I'm grateful that it wasn't something serious. And I will be praying that the specialist can figure out what's really going on at her next visit.

So I'm heading down for a much needed nap. I'm a little grouchy at the moment (in case you couldn't tell). When I wake up I'll take out my frustrations on this messy house. It should sparkle like a diamond when I'm done.

Motherhood::The Bitter With the Sweet

My mom & I September 1979

As I reflect on this weekend I would venture to say that motherhood is a little bitter & a whole lot of sweet. Let me enlighten you on the events that have led me to this conclusion. All weekend long my kids have been a little less than cheerful. Sometimes even downright grumpy. While cooking dinner last night I was met with this from my youngest. Mind you she is only two & a half.

Aris:: Mommy you need to leave this house!

Me:: Why?

Aris:: Because I need to find a new mommy for my daddy.

Me:: You don't want me for a mommy anymore?

Aris:: No! I need to find a new one!

Me:: Well I will be awfully sad if I have to leave.

Aris:: You need to leave.

So I told her goodbye & that I hoped she could find a better mommy very soon. Then I walked out the back door. As soon as I left I could hear the crying inside. Immediate tears & sobbing. I walked around to the front door where I was going to wait a few more minutes before I went inside but my heart couldn't take it any longer. I walked in on a sobbing & trembling little girl with her fingers in her mouth. This is what happened next.

Aris:: Mommy, never leave me!

Me:: Oh my sweet little Aris, I never will. You will always be my little girl. I love you too much. Even if I am ever far away, I will still be your mommy.

When I became a mom I never thought I would have so many tough decisions to make. Hard decisions. Always with the hope that these tough choices I make will benefit my little ones. Going though times like these, I am often reminded of hard choices my own mother made when I was young. I feel I finally have a small understanding of the sacrifice it takes to be a parent. Sometimes I feel as if I'm treading water. Other times I'm on cloud 9. This weekend I felt like I could barely keep my head above the waves, my heart filled with self doubt at this job called "Mom".

Then a crazy thing happened. All three of my children woke up this morning with runny noses & coughs. There was an explanation for all the grumpiness over the last few days. Never have I been so happy to see boogers. Now it all made sense. When the kids are sick they always want me to give them a little more attention. They wanted their mom. I got to snuggle Aris up all through sacrament meeting. When we came home Zoe sang a song over & over again about mother dear & her happy smiling face. Sloan helped to clean her room. Best of all my sweet husband fixed a lovely dinner & had flowers waiting for me when we came home from church. He always makes me feel so special as a wife & a mother. So I wasn't such a terrible mom. No one wanted to trade me in for a new model. They all still loved me and the best part was they needed me.

I know without the bitter moments of motherhood I would not be able to treasure the sweet moments that come along with it. Some of these bitter moments shake me right down to the bone. Leave me questioning why I was ever entrusted with these little ones. I worry that they will grow up to resent or begrudge me. Then I am reminded by the sweet arms of my children that this is what I'm meant to be doing. That sometimes being mom isn't all about fun & games. And I know with all my heart that there is no greater calling in this life than that of a mother. I am so grateful for a loving Great Grandmother that taught my Grandmother to be the sweet person she is. I'm thankful that she in turn raised a wonderful daughter who I can call my mom. I'm grateful for the chance to now take my turn at trying to be the best mother I can be. And I am hopeful that someday my daughters will carry on the grand tradition of motherhood. Hopefully with a little more grace than I have.

I'll take all aspects of motherhood, even the ones I never knew would be a part of this crazy ride called "Mom". Yes I'll even take the bitter with the sweet. Happy Mothers Day to all the sweet mothers in my life.

Giveaway!

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Spring Illustration

Anytime I start a project my workspace looks like this. It's a huge mess of scraps of tiny paper, backs from tape & other tools used to make an illustration. Since I don't have a studio each time I am finished the project must be cleaned up before the day starts.

If not all these tiny pieces will be scattered across the floor. Little hands have a hard time resisting bits & bobbles.

The finished illustration. One day soon (I hope) I will have a space to spread out. A place I won't have to clean up after every work session. One where little hands won't be so tempted to disturb the little piles of whatnots. You know, a space where I can work that isn't in the middle of the living room or the kitchen table. Dean told me that even if I had a studio I won't work in it. I disagree with him on this matter. I did however explain my plans to set up an art area for the kids & a soft sofa with an area to watch movies if they feel so inclined. The sofa would have lots of softy pillows and a few quilts so they can snuggle up if they please. Dean is right, I will want to be close to my little ones. One day my little studio will be a reality. Until then I'll just keep working & dreaming. That is after all how dreams come true, right?

Our Days Have Been Full of.............

Art on the driveway

After nap table dancing

Mind you I walked in on them doing this & figured why get mad?

It was pretty funny after all

Flower picking

Bike riding

Inventing

Baby holding

Backpack wearing, backpacks are the big thing at our home right now

Best Friends

Our days have been filled with lot's of sunshine & lovely weather. A little windy but nothing we aren't used to here in Nevada. The girls have enjoyed spending time with daddy in the yard. I've been trying to keep on top of all the cleaning. Doing a little everyday has made me feel a little less stressed. It feels so wonderful to wake up to a clean kitchen :)

I also started working on a new illustration last night. I've got to finish it up tonight so I can drop it off at a scrapbooking store tomorrow. I'm a little behind on creative things I need to get done. I'm starting to feel pretty tired these days. So the next couple of days I'll be playing catch up. I woke up with a sore throat this afternoon & I'm hoping it's just allergies. Seriously can't afford to get sick. I have way to much to do right now. Thank you for all of your sweet comments on my last post. They really do brighten my day. I'll share what I've been working on with you tomorrow.

Artful Blogging

One of my favorite magazines to read

Featured with some of my favorite fellow bloggers

Little ol' me

I've been waiting a few weeks to share the exciting news. My banner was featured in the current issue of Stampington & Company's magazine

Artful Blogging.

At first I thought it was a joke! There are so many wonderful banners that I see daily on other blogs. I feel so honored that they chose my banner to be a part of this issue. It was fun to see that I was featured along side fellow bloggers I have become friends with. I sent Tracy a little note the other day asking her if she was as excited as I was. I think it's safe to say we both got a huge kick out of the whole thing. This is a wonderful motivator to keep working toward all of the art goals I have. Many thanks to Artful Blogging Magazine.

*A couple of people have asked, yes I did design the banner. I used downloadable scrapbook papers to design it.