August 2008
Our house is almost empty. When we talk our voices carry with a strange echo.
It felt strange to be at the new house. Dean was moving the heavy dressers into the girls rooms & I was trying to figure out where everything would go. Beds, toys, & clothes. There is a place for everything now. The girls rolled on the floor giggling while I made a mental checklist of things to get at the store tomorrow. It all felt surreal. I kept thinking how strange it felt to be there. How odd it was to see our things in this, this, place. It doesn't feel like home yet. There aren't any memories to make it feel like home. Aris told me yesterday that she didn't want to go & live at the new yucky house. She said she wanted to stay here in our home. At bedtime tonight Zoe cried & cried because she was so worried about not liking any of the kids when we go to our new church ward. I tried not to giggle. If you knew my Zoe you would have laughed out loud. She's never met a person she didn't end up calling her best friend. I listened sympathetically and snuggled them in. Sloan on the other hand is super excited about the move. For her it means she finally has her own room, new school & more friends to play with in the neighborhood. I understand my littlest ones apprehension. This is the only home they have ever known. I'm feeling a twinge of sadness in my heart over the move also. This is the home Dean & I came home to when we got married. It's where we brought home our Zoe & Aris. It's where Sloan played the piano for the first time. Where so many other wonderful memories have been made. Some so sweet & special I tear up just thinking about them.
Right now I take comfort in the fact that I know the Lord wanted us to have this house. It feels like the right place to be in our lives. I also know that new memories will be made that will make this house feel like a home. It's a testament to me that a house is just a house. Brick & wood & plaster full of empty rooms. It's the human spirit that can make it a home. Family, friendship & love. I'm so grateful we will have a chance to do just that.
