Motherhood::The Bitter With the Sweet

My mom & I September 1979

As I reflect on this weekend I would venture to say that motherhood is a little bitter & a whole lot of sweet. Let me enlighten you on the events that have led me to this conclusion. All weekend long my kids have been a little less than cheerful. Sometimes even downright grumpy. While cooking dinner last night I was met with this from my youngest. Mind you she is only two & a half.

Aris:: Mommy you need to leave this house!

Me:: Why?

Aris:: Because I need to find a new mommy for my daddy.

Me:: You don't want me for a mommy anymore?

Aris:: No! I need to find a new one!

Me:: Well I will be awfully sad if I have to leave.

Aris:: You need to leave.

So I told her goodbye & that I hoped she could find a better mommy very soon. Then I walked out the back door. As soon as I left I could hear the crying inside. Immediate tears & sobbing. I walked around to the front door where I was going to wait a few more minutes before I went inside but my heart couldn't take it any longer. I walked in on a sobbing & trembling little girl with her fingers in her mouth. This is what happened next.

Aris:: Mommy, never leave me!

Me:: Oh my sweet little Aris, I never will. You will always be my little girl. I love you too much. Even if I am ever far away, I will still be your mommy.

When I became a mom I never thought I would have so many tough decisions to make. Hard decisions. Always with the hope that these tough choices I make will benefit my little ones. Going though times like these, I am often reminded of hard choices my own mother made when I was young. I feel I finally have a small understanding of the sacrifice it takes to be a parent. Sometimes I feel as if I'm treading water. Other times I'm on cloud 9. This weekend I felt like I could barely keep my head above the waves, my heart filled with self doubt at this job called "Mom".

Then a crazy thing happened. All three of my children woke up this morning with runny noses & coughs. There was an explanation for all the grumpiness over the last few days. Never have I been so happy to see boogers. Now it all made sense. When the kids are sick they always want me to give them a little more attention. They wanted their mom. I got to snuggle Aris up all through sacrament meeting. When we came home Zoe sang a song over & over again about mother dear & her happy smiling face. Sloan helped to clean her room. Best of all my sweet husband fixed a lovely dinner & had flowers waiting for me when we came home from church. He always makes me feel so special as a wife & a mother. So I wasn't such a terrible mom. No one wanted to trade me in for a new model. They all still loved me and the best part was they needed me.

I know without the bitter moments of motherhood I would not be able to treasure the sweet moments that come along with it. Some of these bitter moments shake me right down to the bone. Leave me questioning why I was ever entrusted with these little ones. I worry that they will grow up to resent or begrudge me. Then I am reminded by the sweet arms of my children that this is what I'm meant to be doing. That sometimes being mom isn't all about fun & games. And I know with all my heart that there is no greater calling in this life than that of a mother. I am so grateful for a loving Great Grandmother that taught my Grandmother to be the sweet person she is. I'm thankful that she in turn raised a wonderful daughter who I can call my mom. I'm grateful for the chance to now take my turn at trying to be the best mother I can be. And I am hopeful that someday my daughters will carry on the grand tradition of motherhood. Hopefully with a little more grace than I have.

I'll take all aspects of motherhood, even the ones I never knew would be a part of this crazy ride called "Mom". Yes I'll even take the bitter with the sweet. Happy Mothers Day to all the sweet mothers in my life.

Giveaway!

Go take a peek at this lovely blog & sign up for your chance to win their giveaway.

Spring Illustration

Anytime I start a project my workspace looks like this. It's a huge mess of scraps of tiny paper, backs from tape & other tools used to make an illustration. Since I don't have a studio each time I am finished the project must be cleaned up before the day starts.

If not all these tiny pieces will be scattered across the floor. Little hands have a hard time resisting bits & bobbles.

The finished illustration. One day soon (I hope) I will have a space to spread out. A place I won't have to clean up after every work session. One where little hands won't be so tempted to disturb the little piles of whatnots. You know, a space where I can work that isn't in the middle of the living room or the kitchen table. Dean told me that even if I had a studio I won't work in it. I disagree with him on this matter. I did however explain my plans to set up an art area for the kids & a soft sofa with an area to watch movies if they feel so inclined. The sofa would have lots of softy pillows and a few quilts so they can snuggle up if they please. Dean is right, I will want to be close to my little ones. One day my little studio will be a reality. Until then I'll just keep working & dreaming. That is after all how dreams come true, right?

Our Days Have Been Full of.............

Art on the driveway

After nap table dancing

Mind you I walked in on them doing this & figured why get mad?

It was pretty funny after all

Flower picking

Bike riding

Inventing

Baby holding

Backpack wearing, backpacks are the big thing at our home right now

Best Friends

Our days have been filled with lot's of sunshine & lovely weather. A little windy but nothing we aren't used to here in Nevada. The girls have enjoyed spending time with daddy in the yard. I've been trying to keep on top of all the cleaning. Doing a little everyday has made me feel a little less stressed. It feels so wonderful to wake up to a clean kitchen :)

I also started working on a new illustration last night. I've got to finish it up tonight so I can drop it off at a scrapbooking store tomorrow. I'm a little behind on creative things I need to get done. I'm starting to feel pretty tired these days. So the next couple of days I'll be playing catch up. I woke up with a sore throat this afternoon & I'm hoping it's just allergies. Seriously can't afford to get sick. I have way to much to do right now. Thank you for all of your sweet comments on my last post. They really do brighten my day. I'll share what I've been working on with you tomorrow.

Artful Blogging

One of my favorite magazines to read

Featured with some of my favorite fellow bloggers

Little ol' me

I've been waiting a few weeks to share the exciting news. My banner was featured in the current issue of Stampington & Company's magazine

Artful Blogging.

At first I thought it was a joke! There are so many wonderful banners that I see daily on other blogs. I feel so honored that they chose my banner to be a part of this issue. It was fun to see that I was featured along side fellow bloggers I have become friends with. I sent Tracy a little note the other day asking her if she was as excited as I was. I think it's safe to say we both got a huge kick out of the whole thing. This is a wonderful motivator to keep working toward all of the art goals I have. Many thanks to Artful Blogging Magazine.

*A couple of people have asked, yes I did design the banner. I used downloadable scrapbook papers to design it.