Spring Is Here

Moments

There is no such thing as a "normal" smile from this girl anymore. Anytime she sees the camera she makes a silly face & promptly asks to see the photo. Then she wants me to take another photo, where she makes another silly face & quickly asks to see the photo. You get the picture. If not see the above picture for proof.

Is this a photo from Headbangers Ball? Nope! Just my homeless little Moe. Yes she did such a wonderful job fixing her hair. I must admit this photo reminds me of the creepy girl that crawled out of the well in the movie The Ring. Chills. I don't understand how she can handle her hair being in her face. She loves wearing it down! It's driving me nuts! I'm being a good mommy though & letting her do these things for herself. I know it gives her such a sense of self confidence & that she's a big girl just like her sister.

Much better! Oh how I love these two little faces! It pains my heart a little when I look at this photo. Only because they look so big! No one tells you when you become a mom that this happens. That kids grow so fast. That sometimes you'll want weeks to fly by because you feel as if you are being overrun by your offspring. That other times you'll wish you could freeze moments so they never pass. The beauty & chaos of it all leaves me at times breathless. I know one day I will look back on this moment & wish it was one of those that hadn't passed so quickly.

Stinker Pot

 Tonight at dinner you cried out of pure frustration. Why? Because you couldn't understand why I had made yellow rice for dinner. It wasn't what you wanted. You wanted breakfast for dinner. I tried not to laugh at the whole scene. It was rather adorable & you were so devastated. I had to hide my face for a second so you wouldn't see me smile. Even your dad was trying not to laugh. I explained that I make meals for my family. I don't cater to the individual food whims of each & every child or dinner would most likely be candy. I then explained how I try to make healthy meals, weather you decide to eat them or not is your choice. I won't force you to eat, but if you go to bed hungry it's your choice. You then slunked your head down & started munching on some lettuce. Lettuce! The thing most kids don't want to eat. A few minutes into the meal you told me how you would much rather your dad fix the meals because he's a better cook (I won't argue that one). Dad & I tried once again not to laugh. Mean I know but you were just being so over the top dramatic. You are not my drama girl so it was all quite entertaining. You are usually my little peacemaker so after dinner when you pushed your sister over in an effort to "help" her take off her overalls, I'd had enough. It was so hard to put you to bed without a story. I did give you snuggles & tucked you in. I don't think you will remember that. I'm pretty sure you will remember how I tortured you with yellow rice. The horror of it all! Even though you were being such a stinker pot tonight, I still love you more than all the stars in the sky.

Every Little Things Gonna Be Alright

Our house looks like this right now. The whole house. Piles of unwashed laundry. Piles of folded clothes. Piles of unfolded clean clothes. Unswept floors. Dirty dishes. Since I started this post I've almost gotten it under control. It's starting to feel almost normal again.

I woke up on Wednesday morning with a heavy heart & a sense of pure chaos filling my soul. How is it that I can go along for weeks at a time, months even, where everything is happy & fine. The house looks lovely. Kids are bathed & dressed accordingly. Happy little home. Then bam! It all changes in an instant. How is it that two weeks of sickness in our home can cause such untidiness? That two ear infections, a puking baby, lack of a good night sleep in months can finally send me over the edge? What was it that pushed my every last button? Why now & not then? So I had a good cry. Most of Wednesday morning. I let it all out. Sobbed even. I cried when talking to pretty much anyone that morning. It didn't matter who they were or what they were calling about. It made me cry. I even questioned my own sanity. Seriously Summer? I have my rough days like anyone else but it was getting a little silly. I started in on the pity party. Naming all the things in my head that are wrong with my life, no friends....check! Sick kids.....check! I'm fat.....check! The house is dirty.....check! I miss my family.....check! The list goes on (I won't bore you) It was so bad a found myself praying. I felt the only person that would really understand what my heart was feeling was my Heavenly Father. I asked him for help. Please just help me to know I can get through this day. Then the craziest thing happened. My day went from bad to worse. I took my Sloanie to the Dr. & when we got home Omri had thrown up again. Only now his hands & feet were turning blue. I quickly called urgent care where they said go straight to the ER. So we did & I cried the whole way there. I called my dad & he prayed with me over the phone. I called my best friend & she said prayers for us. I prayed too. I don't think I've ever been that scared. Scared that my sweet little baby would stop breathing or that something horrible was wrong with him. The ER got us in right away. The Dr was amazing with Omri. She explained that she has seen this a few times before & although it should always be taken serious (especially if you have any worry at all) it can happen to some babies. A sweet friend called and I explained what was happening, she brought me food & stayed with us almost the whole time we were in the ER. I didn't ask her to, she just chose to do that. It meant the world to me. Thankfully we were able to go home that evening. He has still had episodes of bluish hands & feet & he is still feeling crappy & on his 3rd antibiotic but he's okay. I couldn't be more grateful. Grateful for family, friends, prayers, & modern medicine. Mostly grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that knows what I need personally. He knows me. He knows me! How huge is that? He knows us all & loves us all. I'm also grateful to know I'm not crazy. Nope. Yesterday brought a monthly gift that reassured me I didn't need a straitjacket. Just some Midol.

Best Package Ever!

Can you tell how excited she is? We start pump training in the next week or so (I'm in the middle of setting up training right now). This is something she has wanted for a few years now. I think she's just plum tired of all the injections. It isn't uncommon for her to receive over 1,500 shots a year. That's one thousand five hundred. Not to mention all of the finger pricks for testing her blood sugar that she takes on a daily basis. It is not uncommon for her to take over 2,200 tests a year. Yes her little fingers are calloused and sometimes she has to prick two or three times for one blood test. In her 7 years of having diabetes she has taken well over 10,500 shots & tested her sugar at least 15,400 times. Let me as her mother digest that for a moment. It has become such a common part of our lives. I remember when she was first diagnosed & it felt like our lives were over as we knew it. It did get easier. It continues to get easier. Not that living with diabetes is easy by any means, but caring for her health continues to become a little more understandable on a daily basis.

What will this pump do you might be asking yourself? I don't know much about it myself. That is what the training is for. I just found out our first class is this Friday in our home. Yippie! I do know that her port site only has to be changed every 2-3 days depending on how her body reacts to the equipment. In reality we are looking at on the high end of things 183 site changes a year. That is a huge difference. She is excited to have more "control" over her own health. I think she feels that owning a pump is for big girls (even though very small babies use pumps). I am hoping that with constant monitoring we can get her A1c below 9, she's almost there! 

So wish us luck! If you have any experience with diabetes in your family or experience with the pump please leave some comment love. We are newbies here, advice is totally welcome. Also, like I said, we are new at this so if I've in anyway given wrong information about the pump my apologies. I can't wait to share this journey with you all!