4 months
They say the only sure things in this life are death & taxes, but I'd have to add change & growth to that saying. Time stops for no one. & the only times I've ever felt it turn painfully slow were when sorrow struck or during a traumatic event. It is only then that I could hear the ticking hands of Father Times trusty clock. Most days however fly by so quickly I can hardly keep up. I watch in amazement this life that unfolds in front of me on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like a willing participant other times I'm dragged kicking & screaming. I wouldn't have true happiness without the painful experiences, so I'll take a little of both. My hopes are that the sweet moments outweigh the tough times.
I spent the better part of today cleaning out Sloan & Omri's clothes. Tomorrow I'll tackle Aris & Zoe' closet. I packed away my favorites to save for Zoe. I only saved a few from Omri, the rest I'm giving to friends. It felt so final. I'm settled with the idea that Omri is our last. Really I am. But sometimes it just feels so scary. I find myself wondering what comes next. What happens when I have one in high school, & three in elementary? What will I do? I've started writing some personal goals for myself. I'm working on a 5 year plan for my creative goals. I don't want to forget what makes me special as a person, however I don't want to miss a moment of this mommy experience either. I realized as I was packing away all those little clothes that time is so unforgiving. What we choose to fill our days with makes us who we are. I am working on choosing the better part. The good stuff. Family, love, spirituality, friendship, creativity, positivity........the list of good things is long.
I'm keeping my eyes open. Because I don't want a moment of this life to pass me by without feeling like I've smelled, tasted, soaked it all in. Every part. And maybe just maybe when it's all over, when everything is said & done I can look back & feel good about this crazy life I'm trying so hard to live to the fullest. Hopefully along the way I can grow as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, & a friend.
