Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Fragility

Aris Lake Tahoe July 29, 2008

Aris had a seizure today. It was strange & scary. I watched her as she was sitting in her chair eating. If I hadn't chosen to eat at the table with her I would have missed it. I know in my heart there are no coincidences. At first I thought she was choking but soon realized she wasn't. She sat there staring at me but she wasn't looking at me. It's hard to explain this look but my heart knew something wasn't right. Then she started to make a chewing motion with her mouth. I kept calling her name over & over again & she didn't flinch. Dean walked into the room & called her name, nothing. By this time she was making a very slight swaying motion from side to side & I kind of panicked. Dean & I were both like, this isn't normal, something is wrong. Still no response. So I picked her up & her arms went rigid in front of her chest & then she slumped over as if she had passed out. I walked quickly to the bathroom, don't ask me why, & sat her on the counter. I started calling her name again & then BAM, it was as if nothing had happened. She said, "Mommy", and hugged me. She was a little grumpy & tired but when I tried to put her down for a nap she begged to stay up & watch a cartoon. 

My whole day has been filled with reading what I could find on the Internet, watching videos on YouTube about different kinds of seizures & I even had a lengthy discussion with a pediatrician from her Dr. office. So far it's kind of a game of sit & wait. I will be watching her and keeping a journal of any episodes she has in the future. I realized this wasn't her first seizure. She had a small one about two months back. I had put her down for a nap one morning & she stared off into nothing. I called her name a couple of times & even shook her shoulder a bit because her blank stare scared me. It was so short I didn't give it another thought. I just didn't realize it until now that she had had a small seizure. It was very mild compared to this one. This one lasted almost a minute.

I didn't write this post to garner sympathy. What I am hoping will come of it is information, comfort, & words of advice. I'm desperate to find out all there is to know about this condition. I know it's not super serious or life threatening but it feels a little overwhelming to me at the moment. Please feel free to email me if you don't feel comfortable posting about this in my comments. My email is toward the bottom of my blog.

Tomorrow I will finish up the last of the baking for our Thanksgiving feast. Despite these rough last few weeks I have so very much to be grateful for. Our family has truly been blessed over this last year. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.