Friday, September 19, 2008

Yup, I am Old & Uncool

Me at my coolest. Age three. All kids are cool.
Age 19, and yes that is a famous Brian cut.

Suzanna  (Sitting Pretty Studio) & I. Age 21. Yes I am bald here. Me and my hair have always had a love hate relationship. I used to have dreads too.

Now, age 31.

It has hit me lately, that I am not cool anymore, and I am old. How could this happen? When did I cross over from cool art chic to soggy baggy mom? Why is it I can't find clothes that fit, and I haven't had a "cute" haircut, well since Brian last cut my hair. Brian is not only like a big brother too me, but my hair dresser as well. He used to give me the cutest haircuts. He started cutting my hair when I was 13 & I was hooked. The only time he didn't cut my hair, was when I lived out of state. I could totally use a Brian hair cut. However even a hair cut wouldn't rescue me from my uncool status. I think I realized I was no longer cool and maybe hitting old lady hood when I was listening to the radio and a song I used to like for its brash and abrasive beat and lyrics actually sounded a wee bit too offensive to listen to with my kids in the car. Really? Me? The girl who used to blair loud progressive and underground music so everyone can hear how ahead of the crowd and "cool" I am. Nope not anymore. I have the soundtrack to Curious George on heavy rotation in the car. Gone are the days of Fugazi and Sonic Youth, NIN and Primus blasting from my stereo. My old school music just makes the kids upset and anxious, things I try to avoid. Still how did all this happen. I don't feel any older. I still feel young and I do try to keep up with all the new bands and singers. Music is after art my favorite thing. And how did I go from wearing cutting edge fashion, always before it was cool, to wearing black shirts from Target and capris alllllll theeeee timeeeeeee? If I walked out of the house in thigh highs, combat boots and a kilt with a vintage shirt these days I would probably look, well, like I was soooo 90's. I still love fashion. I actually have very good taste in clothes. Just can't afford the clothes I like. I guess I figure diapers and food in the fridge are a little more important than a new pair of Lucky Jeans (I love Lucky clothes) I think what officially made me fell old, and uncool is the fact that old men compliment me now. Yup. Used to be cute young things. Now it's like the grey haired guy pushing a walker. How did this happen?Aside from realizing all my uncoolness and that, sniff sniff, yes I am getting older,  I do want to say this 

a:: I have never felt more comfortable with who I am. (strange since I am complaining about being uncool & old)

b:: I love being married and having my husband tell me how beautiful I am (way better than any hottie saying it) because I know he means it.

c:: Although I wasn't the best mom with Sloan when she was little, I try everyday to love these girls more than life itself. I also enjoy being a mom and watching my girls grow and learn. Maybe I can help them grow into good productive citizens. Hey maybe I can even give them a few hints on how to be cool. Although by the time they are worried about things like that I will be hopelessly square.

and last but not least.......

d:: I fully realize that one day I will look back on me at 31 and think, Gosh I was sooooooo young & cool back then, why am I not cool now?