Monday, September 3, 2012

Looking Back, Moving Forward

I've hit a wall. A real creative block. It almost always happens after I work super hard on a big project & it comes to an end. I have spent the week cleaning, playing with kids, baking, cleaning, taking kids to & from school, cleaning & I joined a gym. I did everything BUT create. Maybe I was just exhausted by the new schedule of having all the kids in school. Maybe I was just physically tired from being soooooo out of shape & finally getting my but kicked at the gym. I honestly don't know. I just couldn't get myself motivated.

I saw a painting today & I physically felt a twinge in my heart. I love quilting & sewing but at that moment I realized just how much I miss the physical act of drawing & painting. I miss the smell of paint & the process of making something from a blank piece of paper or canvas. I wonder sometimes if I haven't pushed myself enough. Maybe if I tried just a little harder I could be further ahead in my creative dreams. Maybe if I could just focus a little better I could actually be a better artist, mother, wife & friend. Or maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. Or maybe I'm burnt out. 

I'm wondering if my lack of motivation is because I haven't been allowing myself to enjoy all aspects of creativity? So instead of wallowing in my self pity & frustration over an artist block I decided to make a plan for myself. I'm going to try to allow myself to do more painting & drawing. I'm giving myself permission to enjoy the process of creating. I'm really hoping that by doing more art along with my quilts I can find an even balance to my creative frustrations. Only time will tell. Until I figure out a good creative flow I plan on organizing my art area. It's a mess. I also have several projects to finish up. So I made a list of what NEEDS to happen over the last few months of this year. My last goal is to blog a little more. Crossing my fingers that all of this pays off. That's a pretty silly thing to say. The only thing that will really make a difference is if I'm ready & willing to do the work. I better get to work, lol, I've got a lot to do. Hope you all have a happy Labor Day weekend!