Monday, September 3, 2012

Looking Back, Moving Forward

I've hit a wall. A real creative block. It almost always happens after I work super hard on a big project & it comes to an end. I have spent the week cleaning, playing with kids, baking, cleaning, taking kids to & from school, cleaning & I joined a gym. I did everything BUT create. Maybe I was just exhausted by the new schedule of having all the kids in school. Maybe I was just physically tired from being soooooo out of shape & finally getting my but kicked at the gym. I honestly don't know. I just couldn't get myself motivated.

I saw a painting today & I physically felt a twinge in my heart. I love quilting & sewing but at that moment I realized just how much I miss the physical act of drawing & painting. I miss the smell of paint & the process of making something from a blank piece of paper or canvas. I wonder sometimes if I haven't pushed myself enough. Maybe if I tried just a little harder I could be further ahead in my creative dreams. Maybe if I could just focus a little better I could actually be a better artist, mother, wife & friend. Or maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. Or maybe I'm burnt out. 

I'm wondering if my lack of motivation is because I haven't been allowing myself to enjoy all aspects of creativity? So instead of wallowing in my self pity & frustration over an artist block I decided to make a plan for myself. I'm going to try to allow myself to do more painting & drawing. I'm giving myself permission to enjoy the process of creating. I'm really hoping that by doing more art along with my quilts I can find an even balance to my creative frustrations. Only time will tell. Until I figure out a good creative flow I plan on organizing my art area. It's a mess. I also have several projects to finish up. So I made a list of what NEEDS to happen over the last few months of this year. My last goal is to blog a little more. Crossing my fingers that all of this pays off. That's a pretty silly thing to say. The only thing that will really make a difference is if I'm ready & willing to do the work. I better get to work, lol, I've got a lot to do. Hope you all have a happy Labor Day weekend!


Kathy said...

Great post Summer. Just know that you are not alone. I wish you great success in reaching your goals.

Anonymous said...

Summer I have been there. You are an amazing mother, friend and artist don't let the frustration of lack of motivation get you down. I am looking forward to seeing some sketches and paintings!

rae said...

oh my gosh if YOU of all people are claiming to need to be more productive in the creating department then i am well beyond repair! you are amazedaze summer. loved your thoughts.


Elissa said...

oh this is where i have been and i am planning a turn around too dear! here's to blogging more and more time to nourish our creativity in a good way! looking forward to seeing and reading yours, friend!

christilee said...

Summer my most creative friend. Can't wait to see what you make next!!!!!!