My Life Lost & Found

Storm blowing into Reno tonight

One must lose one's life in order to find it.

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The winds have been blowing like crazy today. I'm so grateful to have a very cozy home to live in. I've had a lot on my mind. My life has kinda been like a storm lately. So much going on around me. And I can't help feeling like a little part of me has died. That parts of my life have been lost. They have blown away. The sadness & emptiness that fills my heart at times has been so overwhelming. How funny that life can go along fine for so many years & then WHAM! It hits you full force in the face. I'm grateful for my husband & sweet little ones that keep me so grounded. Because of all this craziness so many things have had to take a back seat. My art, sewing, photography, creativity & fitness goals are just a few. I've been mostly focusing on the important things like trying to be a better wife & a good mother to my children. When the storms of life threaten to blow you away that's when you hold tight to the things that matter most. Although my art & creative goals are so important to me my little family is even more important. Like every storm, things are finally settling down & my hope is that life can resume some sort of normalcy around here.

I've thought a lot about all the things I've been missing while this other stuff has been going on. I miss my photography & I miss my sketching. I miss sitting down & sewing on a regular basis. Everything is just taking so much longer. I feel so far from you creativity! I want you back in my life! I've even gotten away from what this blog started out to be in the first place. Artfulife. A place where I can share my creative life & the things that matter most to me. My family, art, sewing & all the other things that make this life so sweet sometimes it hurts. 

I realize my creativity isn't the only thing that has suffered. Parts of my confidence have always been missing. It's so easy for me to sell myself short. To self doubt. That I'm not good enough for the dreams I've written for myself. Since when did I give the okay for so much negativity to invade my body & mind? How could I let it in & then allow it free room & board? Shame on me! My creative self is in revolt. Throw it out! It's shouting that right now! This may seem silly to read but I'm shaking as I type this. Too long I've let my dreams sit in dusty corners of my mind. Too long I've let my voice of self doubt dictate how I've lived my life. Too long I've allowed myself to believe that I don't deserve true happiness like everyone else. I now know it's okay to listen to my heart! It's time to make a change! If not now.......when? 

I love the quote above. I've lost so much lately. I have felt so much pain in my heart, yet with that pain has come so much healing. So many things that have haunted me for so long are no longer welcome in my life. Do you hear me? You can't stay here anymore! Today is the day I take what I've learned over the last few months & move forward in a more positive manner. Today is the day I start letting my heart heal. Today is the day I give myself the go ahead to believe in myself again. Today I'm giving myself permission to create. To have a voice! TO BE HAPPY! Today is the day I found my life! I'll be damned if it doesn't feel good!

I Looked Out the Window......

Every once in a while I catch little glimpses of the kids that make my heart melt. 

Even though they fight from time to time, they are the fiercest of friends. 

We are soaking up the last few days of warmth & sunshine. It's getting a little colder every day. I love fall & winter months the most. There is something so magical about snugly blankets, warm sweaters, snow, twinkly lights, & the anticipation of Christmas. My girls are so excited to decorate the tree tomorrow night. Tonight we picked the perfect Christmas tree. Zoe found it & we all voted to bring it home. Omri kept patting it. This will be the last year we have a Christmas tree that has ornaments missing from the bottom half of the tree. Kinda makes me sad. Not sad enough to do anything about it though ;) I'm looking forward to bringing all of our Christmas books out of storage & decorating the house. I might even make a wreath if I can get those quilts done this weekend. Hard to believe it's already December. It will be our first Christmas here at home & I'm looking forward to starting a new holiday tradition of some sort. What are some of your holiday traditions?

On the Table

The quilting is coming along slowly but surely. Who would have thought straight lines could take so darn long? But they are looking awesome if I do say so myself. Now I just need to finish these quilts.

 So I can move on to the other three quilts for my sweet friend. Oh, and work on all the other gazillion projects on my list to do.

Speaking of quilts, have you entered for your chance to win this beautiful quilt?

Moving Right Along

Let the quilting begin!

I've spent a better part of the weekend wrestling these quilts. It's been a humbling process. I wanted to give these quilts a diamond quilted pattern but will now settle for squares. I think it's going to look okay when all is said & done. I needed a quilting guide but haven't been able to find one locally. I'm putting this on my list of things to order when I get a little money next week. I couldn't however put these off any longer.

After trying to "eye" my lines (go ahead & laugh) I threw my hands up in pure frustration. It just wasn't happening. Then I saw my hubby's T-square sitting against the wall & knew that was the rout I needed to take. I tried to use my fading tracing pen & it would only allow me to make dots.

I had to head to Hancock Fabrics & buy this handy little nugget of WHY HAVEN'T I BOUGHT THIS YET!!!!! The best $1.89 I've spent in years. Whoever invented chalk was a genius! It has saved me from a nervous breakdown & is by far cheaper than the $40 I will have to pay for that darn quilting foot. Sure it's a little more time consuming but I'm pretending to kick it old skool. Who doesn't like to draw a gazillion chalk lines? Put your hand down!

So I'll be getting back to quilting again as soon as this sick little bug takes a nap today. I can't work on it while he's awake. He likes to sit right in the middle of the quilt. Then he likes to take his little footy feet and scuffle all over the crisp lines I just drew. Did I mention he giggles while doing this? Like he knows it's driving me bonkers! Very counter productive, lol :) 

Gotta get caught up on some laundry & start a mini quilt for a trade I'm doing with this awesome gal. It's small & something I can work on while little Oblio is up. I can't wait to share it with you very soon.

 Little Sloan is still feeling sick from her surgery. I thought she'd be feeling better by now but no such luck. I have heard it can take longer to heal the older you get. She's really having a rough time. I didn't get to make my homemade chicken noodle soup the other day like I wanted. Today I'm making it no matter what (per Sloan's request). I've got the chicken in the pot right now. The house smells so yummy. Okay back to cleaning & (my house looks like a bomb went off) cooking & hopefully sewing. Happy weekend!

The Sweetest of the Sweet

Zoe' first breakfast she ever made

Life has been more than a little crazy lately. I dare not even whisper the words "seriously, what else could happen" for fear of something really crazy taking place. Life is like that though. I think it's Gods way of toughening us up for the hard road ahead. And by that I mean it's just a feeling I have in my gut. That pang in my heart that tells me life is only going to be harder as the years go by. With that being said I believe when life sends tough things your way the good times are that much sweeter. I'm so grateful for so many sweeter than sweet moments that have taken place during the last month of craziness. Here are just a few things that have put a smile on my face. Sure there are more times than pictures allow but I'm sharing what I was able to catch on camera. The rest will have to settle for being kept close to my mind & my heart.

 Dean & I woke up to this loverly breakfast Zoe made us one Saturday. Who wouldn't want peanut butter & jelly on sourdough, salad & strawberries for breakfast? & look how cute Oblio's breakfast is! A banana & crackers. She thought of everything right down to the "treat" a candy for each of us. Love it!

We just switched Sloan from the back bedroom to the new room. I am so excited that we now officially own a home with 4 bedrooms. In some places that would be considered a mansion. Add to that the fact that we have beds for every family member, heat, running water, indoor plumbing & food in our fridge........we are rich! Truly we are in so many ways.

Since we added on the extra room Omri took Sloan's old room. 

Can you tell he's loving it? 

I think the smile says it all. 

I love watching him play. I have been working on actually sitting down with my children lately. I know that may sound silly. I've found when I do that they almost always make a bee line for my lap. Especially this little guy. He's the best snuggler of all my kids. He's really sick today. All the kids are. I'm so grateful that I am able to stay home with them. Not every mom is so lucky to have a husband that works so hard so I can be here with our littles.

Here she is! The bravest girl I know. She had her tonsils & adenoids removed on Monday. Why is this a "sweet" thing?  The Dr. said her tonsils were huge & very infected. Because of this she has been suffering from an almost constant sore throat for who knows how long. Add that to her joint pain & headaches, I am guessing this is part of the reason she's often so grumpy. I think she has felt crappy for quite a while. The Dr. felt this would improve how she felt 100%. That's worth all the pain she has to go through over the next 2 weeks. Although I'm sure she doesn't feel the same, she's been a trooper.

My dear friend Christy came over the other night & helped me baste the two quilts I've been working on. These quilts are huge! It really was a 2 person activity. I couldn't have done it without her & I am forever grateful for her coming to my rescue. With all the goings on I haven't had a chance to start quilting them. My hope is that tomorrow everyone will be feeling better so I can get started on them. I'd love to have them finished up by this Friday so I can do all the hand sewing this weekend.

So there it is folks. The sweetest things that have been filling my heart with happiness lately.