Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Be Still My Beating Heart

Sometimes my heart still skips a beat when I think of him

I get that ache in my heart when he's working far from home for a week or more. The same ache I get at the thought that had things not have happened the way they did::

a short marriage to a very dishonest person
a divorce
bankruptcy
heartache
to embarrassed to come back to my hometown a failure
moving to Reno
the kindness of my aunt & uncle letting Sloan & I live with them for a few months
me getting a job as an assistant interior designer
in Incline Village up at Lake Tahoe
having a boss that loved me like a daughter
believed in me when I didn't believe in myself
introduced me to Vern who was the contractor for all our jobs
Dean was his right hand man
Vern set Dean up on a date with me without even asking him first
On our first date we all went to the Lake
we hopped from rock to rock
he offered his hand for one of the bigger jumps
I remember thinking as I took his hand that I could feel safe forever in those hands
& then I thought that was a little crazy

I can't imagine how empty my life would feel if we had never met. Our marriage isn't perfect but it's perfect for us. We have so much fun together as a couple & a family. I laugh every day because of him.

I know that Dean came into my life for a reason. I pray everyday & give thanks for him in my life. I love him, every part. I feel like the luckiest girl, that I am the one who gets to share my life with him. Sloan & I were talking the other day about how much her and Aris look alike. Sloans father & I , although friends, we never married. I told her that most people think Dean is her real dad. She resembles him. She told me something I will never forget, "Mom I think God knew, I think he knew that Dean would one day be my dad & that is why I look so much like him".

Sloan I know you are right.

With all my heart.

7 comments:

Feather said...

ohhhh...i've got goose bumps. how old is sloan? an old soul, that one. so much wisdom.
these moments can be rare. you had one, you recognized it...look at you! you're there, aren't you? living that happy life that everyone searches for.

Artfulife said...

Feather I feel like I am. I no longer have that empty feeling inside my heart. There is just too much happiness & love in our home. I feel very blessed :)

Sylvia said...

Absolutely beautiful.

Angie said...

Summer I am loving this series. Reading about your beautiful family has made my heart grow a full size. I can't wait to read what you write about the little man on the way.

Vicky said...

Summer, this was such a beautiful post! I'm so glad you found 'true love'!!

Elissa said...

oh, be still MY beating heart.

don't even know him and i love that dean too.

and, yes i have thought as well that sloan reminds me of dean. yup. God knew alright.

hugs to you all dear!

amylouwho said...

so so sweet. I'm so happy for all of you! And this new little guy who will be joining your happy family soon!